The Voice and The Silence

In order to find my voice, I had to lose my voice.
Life is funny that way, no?

I recently came down with a throat infection and literally had to stop talking. And those who know what a chatty cathy I can be, would know that losing my voice would definitely impact me.

But I discovered that I liked having no voice.

I was stuck at home, voiceless, delirious with fever, and it gave me time to think about things. Yes blogs I want to write. But also about my dreams and things I want to accomplish in my life.

Suddenly I had a craving for complete silence, going beyond just the silencing of my own voice, and I turned everything off, to not hear the sounds – the noise – distracting me from my thoughts.

The only thing I listened to was the whispering of the trees. I had missed hearing it, noticing it, that soft sigh. For the whispering of the trees is a sacred sound to me. It reminds me to look around at this miraculous thing called life and the miraculous organisms living around me. It reminds me to look deep inside myself, to listen to my own heartbeat.

With the whispering of the trees I connect to a profound Silence. A silence felt in my soul. Kind of like the mad scientist’s aha! moment, but sounding more like a simple YES. In that simple YES there is a remembering of who I am and my soul’s path in this life.

The timing of this also fit in well with my reading a whole bunch of books from one of my favourite authors, The Great Alchemist, Paolo Coelho. More about his writings to come in another blog.

I had forgotten the bliss I felt when reading Paolo Coelho’s books. In his writing there is a sublime simplicity, a Truth of All Things, which often makes me stop to absorb these wonders.

And with the five Paolo Coelho books I read within my convalescence, it also brought me back to that sacred and profound Silence of The Soul. When the soul realizes its magnificence and abundance and is simply happy to *be*.

I hope you are blessed with a Silence of The Soul as well.

 Anima Blue

A Light Touch / A Touch of Light

This phrase kept playing around in my head this week.

I like the play on the word “light”. A light touch. A gentle touch. Feather-soft. Tender touch. The brush of one hand on another saying “happy to see you”. A tough of light. A sharing between two friends, between two people who care about each other. Sharing soul food for thought. Sharing thoughts of love. Sharing something that warms your heart and soul. Bringing some light into your daily life.

I experienced both this week in so many small yet wonderful ways.

I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in many months during one of my weekly outings and we were both so happy to see each other. She took her hand in mine and smiled as she told me how good it was to see me again, as I told her the same. We exchanged numbers and suggested going for coffee.

This week, I ran into another friend online, a friend I hadn’t chatted with in months as well. What a wonderful thing it is to hear a friend tell you, “I really miss you my friend” and “Love you”. How I missed him too, this extraordinary, wise young man who had brought some beautiful light into my life, and still does.

And then I received a very special touch of light in my day: a letter from my dad.

Yes, a real, hand-written, airmailed letter from my dad that came from far across an ocean. I hadn’t received a letter from my dad in ages. I had called my dad a few weeks ago, after not having talked in some time. And I had asked my dad to write me a letter, as I know he’s not one to call. So I was super happy to see my dad had followed up.

My dad’s letter was such a special treat for me, that I carried it around all day, not wanting to open it just yet because I wanted to prolong the anticipation and excitement it gave me to open it.

My dad’s letter, filled with light and filled with love.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the special people I know who live far away, who have touched my life and who have a special place in my heart. Maybe that thought has been my mind because of these light connections this week. But also because a dear friend of mine told me recently she will be moving away, due to a great opportunity that crossed her path. I know that we will do our very best to maintain and nurture our connection. She’s someone special who has brought light into my life every time I’ve seen her, talked to her or emailed her. She’s just that kind of lightbearer who makes the people around her feel that way.

It’s such a gift to have a light touch and a touch of light in our lives, n’est-ce-pas?

Anima Blue

Beautiful Day

I have never had so many people tell me I was beautiful in the space of 24 hours. Honestly.

On Friday, April 25, I made a change in my life that was 10 years coming.

I cut my hair. Short.

For the past 10 years, I grew my hair long & longer.
And then one day, I said that\’s enough. So I cut my hair.

It took me awhile to write this blog, but thought I would share this momentous occasion in my life.

Now why is cutting my hair so remarkable?

Because I want to make changes in my life.
Change how I feel about myself & how I look out at the world.

So I cut my hair one day and people have just not stopped complimenting me on it.

Now I am not a supermodel. I am a real woman who has a real woman\’s body.

And it felt great to hear all these men & women telling me how beautiful I looked with my new hair. To literally have men & women do a double-take at the sight of me. I\’ve never had so many male friends & acquaintances take a different look at me….seeing me in a different light like this.

And it feels great.

It feels great inside & out.
I feel literally so much lighter.
Free.
Happy in the way a little kid can be happy.
I feel 10 years younger and then some.

It feels great to make a radical change in my life.
And other things have been changing in my life as well.
I have been making lots of changes.

And it\’s a beautiful day to be me.
It\’s a beautiful day.

Anima Blue

Reconnecting The Soulful Dots

Lately my mind has been occupied with one of my favorite activities: counting my blessings.

And when I count my blessings, the very special people in my life, who have crossed my path, are at the top of the list.

This past week, I tasted the tastiest soul food of hearing from not one, but 5 people who all hold a special place in my heart. Five souls that I lost touch with who I was so very happy to hear from again.

One was a dear friend I studied with many moons ago, who moved so very far away. A soul-sister with whom I used to share little haikus, silly little doodles, and moments of mindfulness. Another soul sister whose beautifully generous spirit I shared soul-nourishing alternative books and philosophies and a tender softness that comes with the best hugs. Another was my one & only treasured childhood friend that I still keep in touch with. The one I shared the madness of teen years with, and decade after decade of life-changing events. Another was a special young man, who sadly had moved to Toronto sometime ago. A young man filled with such a bright light and wisdom and love. And another special young man who is a very talented photographer. The young man who took my very mischievous portrait picture that grace a few of my websites.

Ah what goodness, what light from them all.

My day was made all the brighter from hearing from each of them.

And hearing from them made me think of all the areas of my life where I have been blessed with the connections that feed my soul.

All those Positive People in Toronto & all over the world who shared this spiritual journey with me.

The wonderfully eclectic collection of wonderful new friends I´ve made from the many events I´ve hosted & attended in my ever-busy social life.

The dear friend I found again after 10 years of searching. So far away across an ocean but so often in my thoughts.

My best buddy with whom I shared a night of sci-fi movie goodness and most excellent cheese, not too long ago.

My dear dad. Much too far away from me, who is in my heart and thoughts every day.

It is time to catch up with all my emails, all my phone calls, all my messages, with all the soulfully-rich people who have touched & blessed my life.

The Healing Power of Babies & Kids

I will be adding more about this soon….stay tuned folks!

My Spiritual Self

Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) – Heaven/Where True Love Goes

Well, with a name like Anima Blue, how can I not talk about my spiritual self?

A friend from my past who shares my Italian heritage described my nickname best: the blue poetic soul. Yes, that sums up what Anima Blue means to me, very well.

I have a curious soul and curious beliefs.

Beliefs like no other because they are a strange amalgamation of many different spiritual influences that crossed my path over the years. From the friends I made, of many different faiths. Of men I dated as well. Of posting in spiritual forums over the years out of curiosity to learn about others. Facebook has been a tremendous tool to nurture my spiritual growth. The Facebook group I started there – Synchronicity & *Being* In The Flow – was the thirsty earth that nourished so many wonderful sharing spiritual partnerships from the people who stopped on by.

So what are my spiritual beliefs?

Oh a good dose of generic Christian, with some Buddhist thoughts thrown in. Bits and pieces of other faiths and belief systems. I am fascinated by all faiths and believe all faiths have some core of goodness in them. Like the universal belief in LOVE.

Yes, Love. I added a video to this post because I find this beautiful song from Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens) so eloquently illustrates how there is Love within all faiths that believe in a Higher Power.

Do I believe in God? Well yes I do. Do I pray? How do I pray? Very personal questions, aren’t they? Well, I am not one to be a crusader and go forth to convert the multitudes into what I personally believe in. That would be hard to do for the simple fact that my spiritual beliefs are complex – yet so simple – but are hard to explain. Which is why I am kind of going round in circles here.

So this is how my spirituality manifests in me. I don’t know go to a church every Sunday. I stopped doing that when I was nine years old, mostly out of contrariness I think. Yes, stubbornness definitely runs in my family. I got a double dose from both parents.

Occasionally, sometimes a few times a year, on a good year, maybe at least once a month or more, I’ll stop in a church somewhere and pray. And sit for awhile. And get on my knees and recite some of the childhood prayers that I still remember. I’ll usually light a candle or two, for the loved ones that I have lost.

But often-times, this is how I pray. You know how sometimes you pick up the phone or dash off an email to a friend because you just remembered something you wanted to share, or you wanted some advice? Well that’s kind of how I pray. My conversations with God are simply a never-ending dialogue that start and stop when I remember. In good times and in bad. I try to remember to give thanks.

One thing I know is that God lives in my heart. I feel God’s presence most in those moments when I am feeling the most love.

So for me – God is LOVE. Simple as that.

First Drop Of Water

Well, here I am folks.

This is Anima Blue’s Oasis version 2.0.
Yes, there was one before, that I’ll add to my site links.

What is this oasis for.

This place is my quiet place away from it all.
Where I will deposit my deepest thoughts and eccentric musings.
My dreams…and the wonderings and wanderings that keep me up late at night.

Everything that is inside and out and all around.

Here you will find my true heart…and my soul.
Imperfect, vulnerable, seeking and questioning as they might be.

The true blue Anima Blue, that you will not find anywhere else.

I’m me…just me, folks.