Fragility

Alot of the time, I feel fragile.

People don’t understand this because my physical being seems so strong.
Many people have told me over the years that I seem very calm, at peace, a restful person to be around.

But inside I feel fragile most of the time.

People have told me in different times of my life, at work, at play, in different areas of my life, that I seem capable, tough, level-headed, down to earth, very well put-together.

But often those times were the times when I felt such a panic inside. When I most wanted to scream. When I questioned everything and my place in the universe.

Animals and pets always seem to be drawn to me.
I’ve lost track of how many dogs have tried to follow me home.
How many savage cats calm down when I come into the room.

I even had a peacock in the Dublin Zoo head straight for me once – which is as odd as it gets.

But inside I feel fragile and lost and wonder and wander.

Often I don’t sleep at night.
Sometimes I forget what’s it like to have a good solid 8 hours of sleep.

My spirit roams….somewhere.
Restless, ever restless, curious, questioning.

Why am I here?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Have I done some good in this life, this life-time?
Where is my place?

Questions.
Yes, that is something I have in abundance in my life.

Let’s see where the answers are hiding.

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3 Responses to “Fragility”


  1. 1 Rosa June 4, 2008 at 12:23 am

    Hi Sweetie,

    I know how you feel: you appear strong, calm, in charge of your life to everyone around and inside you are falling apart. With me they’re just periods that ebb and flow. I hope at least the same for you.

    Thinking of you, sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way.

    A presto,
    xox

  2. 2 Anima Blue June 4, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Thank you for your wonderful comment, my friend.

    Thinking of you & missing you,
    from far across an ocean.

    Bacioni & abbracci,
    Anima Blue 🙂

  3. 3 Anime Black September 22, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Dear Anima,

    I feel you pain.
    I feel super fragile all the time.
    Like glass, very very fine glass, the kind that can break when there is a really high picth noise.
    You know the kind I am talking about.
    They use it in science experiments.
    Well that is the kind of glass I am, so fragile.

    Good luck.

    Frank


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Video Montage: The Flow
Following the flow of the universe, with a photo montage I created. The song is "Twisted Hair" by Robbie Robertson & The Red Road Ensemble, featuring the sublime operatic voice of Sioux singer Bonnie Jo Hunt, who sings over the sound of crickets.
Also posted on youtube:

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