Archive for June, 2008

Manifesting Love

James Carrington ~ Ache

Well here is a little bit about an interesting part of my life: my lovelife. Funny, it’s something I rarely talk about, but it’s there.

I made a decision this week that I will manifest what I truly want in this area – love.

So, I’ve been reading books and things while I thought about just what exactly I wanted to manifest.

You know so many of these self-help books go on and on about the baggage that women have and common mistakes they make, and it’s just not me. I’m not in denial about the baggage I do have, it’s just different from the usual stuff I’m reading here.

In relationships, I was never the clingy, needy, suffocating type who would call a guy 20 times a day just to hear his voice.  No. I always liked having my own space & plenty of it. I always encouraged guys I dated to go hang out with their buddies, because I like my own private alone time, and yes, hanging out with friends and doing stuff like organizing many activities in town for my websites. I actually had one ex-boyfriend tell me I was more like a guy, in the way I liked having my own space. It’s just the way I am.

Yes, I am a very out-going person who chats a lot with people and I’m very friendly and like to put people at ease. I would actually prefer to listen to people than talk about my own stuff.  Well, even though I am very sociable, I definitely have my private side as well. So I like to balance it all out when I can – go out and hang out with people, and then sometimes just spend time at home with my own company. I never get bored when left to my own devices.

So here I am having decided to reboot my love life. So I put an ad up again on a very well-known dating site. And signed up for the next party. Because even though I have many different things going on in my life (which is quite hectic right now), I want to find that certain someone special.

So who do I want to find?

Someone who is kind and a good person. Someone who makes me laugh and who likes to make jokes in a good way – not at another’s expense. Someone smart and sharp who likes to read and is maybe into geeky things like techie stuff. Someone who is a people person, who can hold their own in a conversation. Someone who likes to give hugs. Someone to make me smile. Someone to hold my hand. Someone who wants to find love. Someone who wants a relationship.

Basic no?

Well, let’s see what the seeds I’ve sown manifest.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed. 😉


Newsflash: Inner Artist Does Happy Dance! :)

Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Wow isn’t that just amazing, for me to use that word.


I’m happy. When was the last time I actually said that?
Funny how I just can’t remember.

But I am happy. And doing a happy dance about alot of things this week.

It seems like alot of circles have been coming full circle this week for me.
In my head, I am thinking about my career and life path and how many elemental things came back into my life.

Take my writing, for example.

Since I was a kid, I had so many teachers encourage me in my writing, with their praise and enjoyment of different things I wrote. Like the play I wrote in third grade. The short story I wrote about Martians for my very first Girl Guide’s badge – the writing badge, of course. Pretty much every single English teacher I had in high school encouraged me to dream and dream big, when it came to my writing. So, in my very first career path, I followed my dream to doing a Journalism degree in Concordia’s highly-rated Journalism program.

And then fast forward a few years, a decade or two, and go through quite a few career changes, until this moment now – which is me writing this blog entry. Writing, my first true love – yes this year I’ve gone back to you. And gone back to nurturing my creative self, that I had missed so much.

And then there is graphic design. When I chose it, it’s pretty funny, but I forgot how there was such a strong link to graphic design in my childhood as well.

When I was a kid, I messed around with paint and making things with my hands, and the other traditional art methods. And honestly – I sucked, for the most part. But it felt so good to create and try to bring the images out of my fertile imagination to life. And then one miraculous day, I discovered the art of the collage. This was way before I made my way to a computer. I’m not even sure how old I was when I made my first collage. But I found myself cutting interesting and odd images and words out of magazines and newspapers. And sticking them onto different kinds of paper and card stock. Even back then I loved the feel of textured paper. If I couldn’t find textured paper, I would ADD texture. I took my crayola crayons and ironed them onto looseleaf paper to make pretty funky colours. I picked up paper and crumpled it up and smoothed it down and crumpled it up and smoothed it down again. I recycled old duo-tags from high school essays. And with all this paper stock, I glued and taped on words, pictures, labels, ribbons, anything and everything. And voila- the-graphic-designer-to-be was born.

Which brings me to how I brought art back into my life this week and why I’m so happy.

Since I’ve been out of work for awhile, I was looking at a back to work transition program and stumbled across some art workshops offered at a local community center. So I signed up for a handful of course. Traditional art – making things with my hands again, like when I was a kid. Sculpture. Painting. Mixed media. I signed up for it all. And I can’t wait!

I haven’t taken a traditional art course since I was in seventh grade!

Oh and let me tell you – I had to sweat to pass that art course back then. Because honestly, I still sucked when it came to art. Oh I drew, but it was uninspired. And I was aware of that simple fact, even then. But I still loved it. Because it challenged me. And I loved the feel of working with my hands to create something. Too bad I couldn’t submit a collage for that course. But it was still fun and a lovely change from the mathematics and other logical courses I had to take.

So here I will be making things with my bare hands again. Digging back into the rich creative soil of my imagination. A few days a week, for the month of July. And maybe August, if I decide to continue. And boy am I psyched!

And since I’ve been on a physical trip, I also signed up again at my old gym downtown, where they greeted me like I was a Prodigal Daughter or something.

How fun it is to go back to my roots, in so many ways.

The circles are coming full circle.

And. I. am. SO. happy!



My Spiritual Self

Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) – Heaven/Where True Love Goes

Well, with a name like Anima Blue, how can I not talk about my spiritual self?

A friend from my past who shares my Italian heritage described my nickname best: the blue poetic soul. Yes, that sums up what Anima Blue means to me, very well.

I have a curious soul and curious beliefs.

Beliefs like no other because they are a strange amalgamation of many different spiritual influences that crossed my path over the years. From the friends I made, of many different faiths. Of men I dated as well. Of posting in spiritual forums over the years out of curiosity to learn about others. Facebook has been a tremendous tool to nurture my spiritual growth. The Facebook group I started there – Synchronicity & *Being* In The Flow – was the thirsty earth that nourished so many wonderful sharing spiritual partnerships from the people who stopped on by.

So what are my spiritual beliefs?

Oh a good dose of generic Christian, with some Buddhist thoughts thrown in. Bits and pieces of other faiths and belief systems. I am fascinated by all faiths and believe all faiths have some core of goodness in them. Like the universal belief in LOVE.

Yes, Love. I added a video to this post because I find this beautiful song from Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens) so eloquently illustrates how there is Love within all faiths that believe in a Higher Power.

Do I believe in God? Well yes I do. Do I pray? How do I pray? Very personal questions, aren’t they? Well, I am not one to be a crusader and go forth to convert the multitudes into what I personally believe in. That would be hard to do for the simple fact that my spiritual beliefs are complex – yet so simple – but are hard to explain. Which is why I am kind of going round in circles here.

So this is how my spirituality manifests in me. I don’t know go to a church every Sunday. I stopped doing that when I was nine years old, mostly out of contrariness I think. Yes, stubbornness definitely runs in my family. I got a double dose from both parents.

Occasionally, sometimes a few times a year, on a good year, maybe at least once a month or more, I’ll stop in a church somewhere and pray. And sit for awhile. And get on my knees and recite some of the childhood prayers that I still remember. I’ll usually light a candle or two, for the loved ones that I have lost.

But often-times, this is how I pray. You know how sometimes you pick up the phone or dash off an email to a friend because you just remembered something you wanted to share, or you wanted some advice? Well that’s kind of how I pray. My conversations with God are simply a never-ending dialogue that start and stop when I remember. In good times and in bad. I try to remember to give thanks.

One thing I know is that God lives in my heart. I feel God’s presence most in those moments when I am feeling the most love.

So for me – God is LOVE. Simple as that.

Video Montage: The Flow
Following the flow of the universe, with a photo montage I created. The song is "Twisted Hair" by Robbie Robertson & The Red Road Ensemble, featuring the sublime operatic voice of Sioux singer Bonnie Jo Hunt, who sings over the sound of crickets.
Also posted on youtube:

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