Archive for June, 2008

Manifesting Love

James Carrington ~ Ache

Well here is a little bit about an interesting part of my life: my lovelife. Funny, it’s something I rarely talk about, but it’s there.

I made a decision this week that I will manifest what I truly want in this area – love.

So, I’ve been reading books and things while I thought about just what exactly I wanted to manifest.

You know so many of these self-help books go on and on about the baggage that women have and common mistakes they make, and it’s just not me. I’m not in denial about the baggage I do have, it’s just different from the usual stuff I’m reading here.

In relationships, I was never the clingy, needy, suffocating type who would call a guy 20 times a day just to hear his voice.  No. I always liked having my own space & plenty of it. I always encouraged guys I dated to go hang out with their buddies, because I like my own private alone time, and yes, hanging out with friends and doing stuff like organizing many activities in town for my websites. I actually had one ex-boyfriend tell me I was more like a guy, in the way I liked having my own space. It’s just the way I am.

Yes, I am a very out-going person who chats a lot with people and I’m very friendly and like to put people at ease. I would actually prefer to listen to people than talk about my own stuff.  Well, even though I am very sociable, I definitely have my private side as well. So I like to balance it all out when I can – go out and hang out with people, and then sometimes just spend time at home with my own company. I never get bored when left to my own devices.

So here I am having decided to reboot my love life. So I put an ad up again on a very well-known dating site. And signed up for the next party. Because even though I have many different things going on in my life (which is quite hectic right now), I want to find that certain someone special.

So who do I want to find?

Someone who is kind and a good person. Someone who makes me laugh and who likes to make jokes in a good way – not at another’s expense. Someone smart and sharp who likes to read and is maybe into geeky things like techie stuff. Someone who is a people person, who can hold their own in a conversation. Someone who likes to give hugs. Someone to make me smile. Someone to hold my hand. Someone who wants to find love. Someone who wants a relationship.

Basic no?

Well, let’s see what the seeds I’ve sown manifest.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed. 😉

Newsflash: Inner Artist Does Happy Dance! :)

Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Wow isn’t that just amazing, for me to use that word.

Happy.

I’m happy. When was the last time I actually said that?
Funny how I just can’t remember.

But I am happy. And doing a happy dance about alot of things this week.

It seems like alot of circles have been coming full circle this week for me.
In my head, I am thinking about my career and life path and how many elemental things came back into my life.

Take my writing, for example.

Since I was a kid, I had so many teachers encourage me in my writing, with their praise and enjoyment of different things I wrote. Like the play I wrote in third grade. The short story I wrote about Martians for my very first Girl Guide’s badge – the writing badge, of course. Pretty much every single English teacher I had in high school encouraged me to dream and dream big, when it came to my writing. So, in my very first career path, I followed my dream to doing a Journalism degree in Concordia’s highly-rated Journalism program.

And then fast forward a few years, a decade or two, and go through quite a few career changes, until this moment now – which is me writing this blog entry. Writing, my first true love – yes this year I’ve gone back to you. And gone back to nurturing my creative self, that I had missed so much.

And then there is graphic design. When I chose it, it’s pretty funny, but I forgot how there was such a strong link to graphic design in my childhood as well.

When I was a kid, I messed around with paint and making things with my hands, and the other traditional art methods. And honestly – I sucked, for the most part. But it felt so good to create and try to bring the images out of my fertile imagination to life. And then one miraculous day, I discovered the art of the collage. This was way before I made my way to a computer. I’m not even sure how old I was when I made my first collage. But I found myself cutting interesting and odd images and words out of magazines and newspapers. And sticking them onto different kinds of paper and card stock. Even back then I loved the feel of textured paper. If I couldn’t find textured paper, I would ADD texture. I took my crayola crayons and ironed them onto looseleaf paper to make pretty funky colours. I picked up paper and crumpled it up and smoothed it down and crumpled it up and smoothed it down again. I recycled old duo-tags from high school essays. And with all this paper stock, I glued and taped on words, pictures, labels, ribbons, anything and everything. And voila- the-graphic-designer-to-be was born.

Which brings me to how I brought art back into my life this week and why I’m so happy.

Since I’ve been out of work for awhile, I was looking at a back to work transition program and stumbled across some art workshops offered at a local community center. So I signed up for a handful of course. Traditional art – making things with my hands again, like when I was a kid. Sculpture. Painting. Mixed media. I signed up for it all. And I can’t wait!

I haven’t taken a traditional art course since I was in seventh grade!

Oh and let me tell you – I had to sweat to pass that art course back then. Because honestly, I still sucked when it came to art. Oh I drew, but it was uninspired. And I was aware of that simple fact, even then. But I still loved it. Because it challenged me. And I loved the feel of working with my hands to create something. Too bad I couldn’t submit a collage for that course. But it was still fun and a lovely change from the mathematics and other logical courses I had to take.

So here I will be making things with my bare hands again. Digging back into the rich creative soil of my imagination. A few days a week, for the month of July. And maybe August, if I decide to continue. And boy am I psyched!

And since I’ve been on a physical trip, I also signed up again at my old gym downtown, where they greeted me like I was a Prodigal Daughter or something.

How fun it is to go back to my roots, in so many ways.

The circles are coming full circle.

And. I. am. SO. happy!

Happy.

🙂

My Spiritual Self


Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) – Heaven/Where True Love Goes

Well, with a name like Anima Blue, how can I not talk about my spiritual self?

A friend from my past who shares my Italian heritage described my nickname best: the blue poetic soul. Yes, that sums up what Anima Blue means to me, very well.

I have a curious soul and curious beliefs.

Beliefs like no other because they are a strange amalgamation of many different spiritual influences that crossed my path over the years. From the friends I made, of many different faiths. Of men I dated as well. Of posting in spiritual forums over the years out of curiosity to learn about others. Facebook has been a tremendous tool to nurture my spiritual growth. The Facebook group I started there – Synchronicity & *Being* In The Flow – was the thirsty earth that nourished so many wonderful sharing spiritual partnerships from the people who stopped on by.

So what are my spiritual beliefs?

Oh a good dose of generic Christian, with some Buddhist thoughts thrown in. Bits and pieces of other faiths and belief systems. I am fascinated by all faiths and believe all faiths have some core of goodness in them. Like the universal belief in LOVE.

Yes, Love. I added a video to this post because I find this beautiful song from Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens) so eloquently illustrates how there is Love within all faiths that believe in a Higher Power.

Do I believe in God? Well yes I do. Do I pray? How do I pray? Very personal questions, aren’t they? Well, I am not one to be a crusader and go forth to convert the multitudes into what I personally believe in. That would be hard to do for the simple fact that my spiritual beliefs are complex – yet so simple – but are hard to explain. Which is why I am kind of going round in circles here.

So this is how my spirituality manifests in me. I don’t know go to a church every Sunday. I stopped doing that when I was nine years old, mostly out of contrariness I think. Yes, stubbornness definitely runs in my family. I got a double dose from both parents.

Occasionally, sometimes a few times a year, on a good year, maybe at least once a month or more, I’ll stop in a church somewhere and pray. And sit for awhile. And get on my knees and recite some of the childhood prayers that I still remember. I’ll usually light a candle or two, for the loved ones that I have lost.

But often-times, this is how I pray. You know how sometimes you pick up the phone or dash off an email to a friend because you just remembered something you wanted to share, or you wanted some advice? Well that’s kind of how I pray. My conversations with God are simply a never-ending dialogue that start and stop when I remember. In good times and in bad. I try to remember to give thanks.

One thing I know is that God lives in my heart. I feel God’s presence most in those moments when I am feeling the most love.

So for me – God is LOVE. Simple as that.


Video Montage: The Flow
Following the flow of the universe, with a photo montage I created. The song is "Twisted Hair" by Robbie Robertson & The Red Road Ensemble, featuring the sublime operatic voice of Sioux singer Bonnie Jo Hunt, who sings over the sound of crickets.
Also posted on youtube:

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