Posts Tagged 'control'

#40DaysofLove: Day 5

On The Wings of Gratitude and 40 Days of Thankfulness

40 days of Love Facebook Event



#40DaysofLove: Day 5

So my #40DaysofLove journey continues, with Day 5.

“Day 5: Today apologize for one thing you know you were wrong for saying/doing. When love takes over, it compels us to humbly apologize and take full responsibility for our part in any conflict.”

WOW this is a tough one. Not hard to apologize. Hard to pick only one person, one action to apologize for. *Sigh*

I often like to say my life is a “Work in Progress”, when I realize I have made mistakes. Mistakes with someone, somewhere in the world. Even mistakes with myself.

I have decided to make this a Global Apology, to fit a pattern of behavior of mine.

I apologize for being a Control Freak.

I always start with good intentions.

Often when I join some new group project of some kind, I have so many fresh ideas and enthusiasm. I join in the conversation and express all the inspiration I feel bubbling inside me. Things we can do, partnerships, creative brainstorms.

And then all too often, I naturally feel (and see) myself taking over.  Shifting the group and group dialogue in a direction I think we should go.

I am aware I am doing this, and see myself doing this more and more.

I try to put some brakes on, from time to time. Try to shut up and let other people talk.

Try to let the others lead where they want to go, say what they want to say, shape the project the way they want to shape it.

My intentions are always good.

But sometimes I just go too far.

And then people begin to feel I have taken over their time, their projects, and their time for expression.

And I end up feeling bad about the whole thing.

I usually end up apologizing to the people involved. And tell them I did not mean any harm.

I end up feel bad about what I did. And end up blaming myself again.

For releasing my Control Freak Monster once again.

Suddenly, I can hear “Release the Kraken!!!!!”

And imagine that is my Control Freak Monster rising from the seas…lol.

Well at least I can laugh about it! 😀

So to all the loved ones in my life, to all the people in the group activities I am involved in, I apologize to you all:

Please forgive me for releasing my Inner Control Freak again.

Tomorrow is a new day. And hopefully, a Control-Freak-Free one for me and you.

Anima Blue


Video Montage: The Flow
Following the flow of the universe, with a photo montage I created. The song is "Twisted Hair" by Robbie Robertson & The Red Road Ensemble, featuring the sublime operatic voice of Sioux singer Bonnie Jo Hunt, who sings over the sound of crickets.
Also posted on youtube:

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